In the world of sales, everyone wants leads. A sales lead is a primary focus at The Orange Box Store. On Sunday I was assigned to sit/stand in the afternoon Texas sun for five hours in the parking lot next to the storage sheds to obtain leads for various services offered by The Orange Box Store. A kind co-worker who is a part of the team that generates leads offered to enter them into the computer and make sure that I get the credit. I thanked him and stated that “my life is not about getting the credit.” Quite arrogant don’t you think?

It was not meant humbly, but in earnestness, my philosophy is about the greater good, the big picture, not about receiving the credit for an accomplishment or idea. Who cares about the credit as long as the mission is accomplished?

Speaking of accomplishments, my second son graduated from high school recently. He received a copy of the Believer’s Bible Commentary by William MacDonald as a gift from his uncle and aunt. I have been poring over Psalm 37 lately and decided to read the commentary on this chapter in the volume. Verse 4’s commentary reads thusly:

“But suppose you have had great desires to carry on a certain ministry for the Lord. You feel confident that He has been leading you and your only desire is to glorify Him. Yet a powerful adversary has opposed, blocked, and thwarted you at every bend in the road. What do you do in a case like this? The answer is that you delight yourself also in the LORD, knowing that in His own time He shall give you the desires of your heart. It is not necessary for you to fight back. ‘The battle is not yours, but God’s’ (2 Chron.20:15). ‘The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace’ (Ex.14:14).”

My desire for years has been to “advance the gospel”, the good news of relationship with God through His Son Jesus in faith, hope, and love in my community of Bulverde/Spring Branch, Texas. I am passionate about this community, yet I find myself employed at The Orange Box Store. As the commentary stated, I have a great desire to carry on a certain ministry for the Lord, confident that He has been leading me and desiring to glorify Him. Yet I feel opposed, blocked, and thwarted in this calling. I feel betrayed, angry, disappointed, and hurt. Why am I stuck at The Orange Box Store when the calling and anointing are real? Why God? Why will you not allow me to have a position of ministry again? I do not want to move, and I do not want to be stuck at The Orange Box Store!

Then it hit me – light bulb moment. Delight in His ways and timing, and desires will be fulfilled. Was my desire the position of advancing the good news, or was my desire the outcome of the advancement of the good news? Was I sincere concerning my career long philosophy of not desiring the credit as long as the mission was accomplished? If my true desire is for the good news of the Gospel to overwhelm my community, then my current or future position should not be of importance. How sincere am I about the mission? Continuing to seek Him first means that the promise of God is to see our communities overcome with the faith, hope, and love of the Gospel.

How sincere is my desire? In raw earnestness confession is offered concerning the dislike of employment at The Orange Box Store. Is there willingness to continue there if that means the advancement of faith, hope, love, and the Gospel? Is it the position or the outcome?

Dear God, I believe in your promises; help my unbelief. Peace, provision, strength, and joy are only found in You. May my desires be Your desires.

The other day while working at The Orange Box Store I avoided a couple for whom I was formerly their pastor. I know that they looked up to me. When I resigned from my church I felt I let them, and their children, down. So I did not let them see me. I walked quickly and discreetly to my area in the garden department.

Discreetly, is that a synonym for embarrassedly? Was my orange apron my scarlet letter of shame and failure? See here everyone! See how a former pastor, influencer for Christ, position and title holder, respected person in our community is now a lowly entry level retail worker.

If confession is good for the soul, then here it goes. I have likened this period, this experience to King David’s time of hiding from King Saul and titled it the Cave Period. While reading Psalm 18, the words of David to the LORD on the day when he was rescued from his enemies and King Saul, verse 20 grabs me, “The LORD dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he rewarded me.” God rewarded David, delivered David, because David did what is right. David faithfully sought God first. I eagerly and often anxiously await God’s deliverance from this orange apron, but then there is verse 20 and doing right.

The right thing to do is to not avoid this couple because of my pride and arrogance. Pride is never a part of righteousness. Maybe that couple needed me that day for a word of encouragement or to listen to them about their challenges and blessings. Consider the arrogance of likening working at Home Depot to being depressed and scared in a cave. My wonderful co-workers that enjoy their jobs do not deserve that analogy. I am not better than my co-workers, but my thought processes are not consistent with that reality. The right thing that day would be to flee from arrogance by approaching that couple, my friends, and greeting them in the fruit of the Spirit while wearing an orange apron.

Dear God, please forgive my pride and shame and deliver me. May I greet everyone that I see through your power in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Various Thoughts for Now
About the author:
Christ follower desiring to love God, love others, and be a disciple maker. Honored to be the husband of my amazing wife and the father of three young men that are seeking God, and the son of two faithful, Christ following parents. Privileged to have a few close, trustworthy friends and thousands of wonderful acquaintances.

Hobbies and interests?
• San Antonio Spurs fan
• Texas history geek
• Car nut – specifically Mazda Miatas but mostly all cars
• Coaching basketball
• Baseball fan
• Gardening
• Creating
• Listening

Background? Native San Antonian who was born here, reared here, and if I don’t die here, make sure they bury me here Texan. Until recently, spent my adult life in Christian education and the pastorate. Currently seeking God while employed at The Orange Box Store.
Purpose of this VTFN blog?
To share the various thoughts (lightbulb moments) that occur while seeking God and a closer relationship with Him through prayer, Bible study, and meditating on His Words. The goal is to be transparent while hopefully encouraging you as we each take the next step in our journeys of daily worshipping God.